My rant on being tall

If you are a adolscent having the horrific label of being tall "for your age"(whatever that means) PAY ATTENTION

*note- I wrote this rant because not and half an hour ago I knocked the top of my head with unbelievable force attempting to get out of my father's sedan.Also this is rant about being tall, not about lacking height or hating tall people.

1.Everyone thinks you'er like 19 when your in actuality you're14 (Which is not good for guilibale girls like me who dry heaves for joy at the mere mention of candy)even though you have no mature features about you except your height

2.If you do Ballroom dancing, your always the boy.

3.Jeans shopping

4.Shoe shopping- do you know how bloody humilating it is, just because your tall, to be asked if you wear a size 11 shoe?I mean is that even a humanly possibly foot size for a girl?

5.Dining room chandeliers

6.Somehow, ever since grade school, all the tall people get in this weird growing competion, it's simply horrific. I can't even count on all my apendages how many times I've been in verbal or physical scrapes due to this.i mean if you want to be the tallest in the class just take the bloody title.

7.When you have a crush on someone shorter than you.But as my mother put so eloquently in that horrid jamacian accent of hers " you don't want a short man, all short men can do is tear up sheets" ( It's been three years since she said that and the meaning is still unclear to me, but I'm guessing something very vulgar)

8.Eating, I've noticed that all tall people (unless your a crack head model) are simply enchanting by eating.There is no problem with it when you're with your family or whatever.But goodness me,when your out with your friends, and everyone got a six inch sub and a diet coke and you got a 12 ich sub with baked doritos and three peanut butter cookies AND a non diet sprite something is very wrong.

9. Halloween costumes,they are made in two adult sizes, normal and fat.The normal is always too short and a little too loose and the fat is well...very roomy.So I usally have to wear one of those lame president masks (go Bush)

10.When people ask to borrow your jeans or dresses.Too humiliating for words, maybe i could try.

Me-Here are the jeans you wanted to borrow ( throws them over bathroom stall)

normal girl- (catches them) thanks let me try them on (gets undressed and puts them on)

me- do they fit?

Normal girl- umm, they're a little long

me-just fold them up a little they're a little long on me too

normal girl-(sigh) you don't understand Nichole

me- (Bitch!) then show me

Normal girl-(steps out of stall the jeans engulf her entire foot)

me- Oh (tiny voice) I um guess they don't fit...sorry....stupid idea

Normal girl- I never realized how big you were before Nichole ...wow, your about as big as my dad

me- yeah, just hand them over

Normal girl-okay, let me go in the stall

me- no now!give them to me now!" Miss big as your dad" commands you

Normal- Now Nichole, i didn't mean it like that

me-I don't care!hand it over before I Chris Brow you (with the raging fires of hell in my eyes)

Normal girl- Chill out (slinking out of my overly vertical jeans)

me-Don't tell me to f*ing Chill out you clothes borrowing whore ( I leave dramatically with my pride hanging on for dear life)

Normal girl- ass hole ( shouting as the door swings shut)

Well now that I got that off my chest how are you ladies and gentlemen doing this rainy night?
Updated about 11 months ago. · Comment · Like